Scary. Strange. Exciting.
I feel so much more in control than the first time around when I was a mere fledgling straight out of high school. The fears are still there, but I am managing them. I won't let them manage me this time.
If I don't make friends - who cares, I am here to get that commerce degree...
If I can't figure out the library, on-line stuff (and its all on-line now) and how to get the laptop to log onto the wireless network - I won't sit in silence, I will ask...
If I don't understand the lesson - I won't make myself feel stupid, I will ask for help...
I guess this time around, I don't care if others think I am weird or strange or lacking in intelligence. Because I know that I am all of those things and then some and perhaps less.
I am not going to worry about fitting in and not standing out. Its been a long road but I am starting to feel comfortable in my own skin and I may not love myself yet but there are days when I look in the mirror and think, she ain't half bad and I can smile at my reflection.
But this, my first post in many many years, was mostly to myself. I know others will read it perhaps and wonder who I am, was - will they remember me? But this is for me.
I had my first day and the world didn't end.
I made a friend and had someone to sit next to in my first lecture and the world didn't end.
I had no-one to sit next to in my second lecture, so I sat by myself and the world didn't end.
I put up my hand and asked a question, in front of 150 other students and the world didn't end.
I tried to log onto the GU wireless network and I failed, and the world didn't end.
The world didn't end...
It could have, if I let it. And I didn't.
The sun is peaking out from behind the storm clouds of my mind.
It's going to be ok.
I will survive this. In fact, I will conquer this.
Only time will tell.
Hugs to all.